Guilty

All kinds of unpleasant guilt going on right now. I was double-plus-bad today. Not only did I skip doing the full workout that I was supposed to do according to that Blogilates calendar, but I also ate out at Steak & Shake with my friends after Guild. I did attempt the workout before heading to Guild, though. I tried the one-minute plank, only lasting 20 seconds on my best score, and scraped the feck outta my arms because I don't have a yoga mat yet, but then I gave up because everything hurt way too freaking much to continue to the actual workout. Add that to the fact that not only did I eat a meal at S&S (the chicken fingers and fries one), but I ate half of Ben's chocolate chip cookie dough milk shake. So. Many. Calories. So right now, I'm beating myself up like mad crazy over screwing up so badly. Today was bad food choices all around. Ugh. >_<

I'm going to try and write this off as just a temporary, insignificant fail and move on and do better tomorrow, but that guilt's definitely gonna linger for a bit. Not counting what I did and didn't do today, the scale this morning informed me that I only have 9.4 pounds left to go. Hopefully today didn't screw me over too badly.

If my pain pills can kick in soon enough, I might try and toss in some yoga before I go to bed tonight, though. My friend Whitney gave me a few links on Facebook of yoga videos online that are specifically for helping relieve back pain. I've been meaning to try them, and now might be the perfect time.

And I'm starting to wonder if the Blogilates thing is enough just by itself. I'm going to try spacing out those exercises with other cardio workouts (I have a few DVDs, and all of YouTube to play with). If I just do the same thing over and over again, I'm gonna get bored, and so will my muscles. Gotta keep changing things up so nothing gets too easy or boring. Gotta find more YouTube channels full of happy fun workouts I can try. Is there a channel that's just exercise videos for people who are so fat and out of shape that they need to get more in shape before they can even start exercising?

I will do better tomorrow. Healthy food (well, as healthy as I can mange given the shitastic financial situation we're in (that means we're poor)) and plenty of exercise. I'm going to be walking around The Greene a bit both before and after the movie, and I might drag Ben and Zach on another walk, too.

Must burn calories. Must get in shape. Must lose weight. Must stop caving in with all the sweets and other junk food every chance I get. Must exercise!