Guilty

All kinds of unpleasant guilt going on right now. I was double-plus-bad today. Not only did I skip doing the full workout that I was supposed to do according to that Blogilates calendar, but I also ate out at Steak & Shake with my friends after Guild. I did attempt the workout before heading to Guild, though. I tried the one-minute plank, only lasting 20 seconds on my best score, and scraped the feck outta my arms because I don't have a yoga mat yet, but then I gave up because everything hurt way too freaking much to continue to the actual workout. Add that to the fact that not only did I eat a meal at S&S (the chicken fingers and fries one), but I ate half of Ben's chocolate chip cookie dough milk shake. So. Many. Calories. So right now, I'm beating myself up like mad crazy over screwing up so badly. Today was bad food choices all around. Ugh. >_<

I'm going to try and write this off as just a temporary, insignificant fail and move on and do better tomorrow, but that guilt's definitely gonna linger for a bit. Not counting what I did and didn't do today, the scale this morning informed me that I only have 9.4 pounds left to go. Hopefully today didn't screw me over too badly.

If my pain pills can kick in soon enough, I might try and toss in some yoga before I go to bed tonight, though. My friend Whitney gave me a few links on Facebook of yoga videos online that are specifically for helping relieve back pain. I've been meaning to try them, and now might be the perfect time.

And I'm starting to wonder if the Blogilates thing is enough just by itself. I'm going to try spacing out those exercises with other cardio workouts (I have a few DVDs, and all of YouTube to play with). If I just do the same thing over and over again, I'm gonna get bored, and so will my muscles. Gotta keep changing things up so nothing gets too easy or boring. Gotta find more YouTube channels full of happy fun workouts I can try. Is there a channel that's just exercise videos for people who are so fat and out of shape that they need to get more in shape before they can even start exercising?

I will do better tomorrow. Healthy food (well, as healthy as I can mange given the shitastic financial situation we're in (that means we're poor)) and plenty of exercise. I'm going to be walking around The Greene a bit both before and after the movie, and I might drag Ben and Zach on another walk, too.

Must burn calories. Must get in shape. Must lose weight. Must stop caving in with all the sweets and other junk food every chance I get. Must exercise!

Shit Just Got Real

As I mentioned already, I joined DietBet yesterday, and found a really great group called Fitness Warriors (click here if you want to join in with me on this bet). I think the thought of losing that $10 is really helping, too.

Today, I started the Blogilates Beginners calendar. The first day was a full body workout, and holy fuck it killed me dead. The weird part is, now I can't wait until tomorrow when I can try the next video on the calendar.

I think I might've finally figured out how to motivate myself into exercising. I need to challenge myself so that I feel proud for just surviving the workout instead of not feeling winded or anything. Does that make me an exercise masochist? Whatever, it still gets my ass working and sweating. I'm planning on trying some yoga later to help with my back pain. Today is a good day for exercising. So will be every day from now on.

I'm going to try to follow this every day.

Trust me, guys, this thing kicks major ass so far. I'm going to try and update each day after I do the video(s) to let you know how it goes. I have never been prouder of myself (exercise-wise) than I did when she said that the workout was over, and I had hung on for the whole thing. Usually I only make it through a small portion of an exercise DVD, but I made this video my bitch (and by "made it my bitch", I mean that it killed me on multiple occasions, I may end up throwing up if my stomach is any indication, and I barely survived).

Maybe I do actually have a chance in hell of winning my $10 back. Here's hoping.

Hopefully, I'll Use This Blog More Now

Well, so much for starting a blog about my weight loss struggles being the kick in the pants that I needed to actually get started on those struggles. >_< I think I found a kick that might just work, for real this time. I just signed up for my first Diet Bet. It's this really cool website that my friend Whitney told me about. Basically, you sign up for a "game", where the goal is to lose 4% of your weight in 28 days (or 10% in 6 months, but hell naw I ain't trying that one yet). You put your money in the pot, and everybody who reaches the goal by the end of the time period wins their share of the pot. So if 20 people put each $10 in the pot, but only 3 people actually lost the 4% they were supposed to, those 3 people would split the pot evenly three ways. How awesome is that? Anyway, I joined this interesting sounding one called Fitness Warriors 18. I just paid my ten bucks (that's only the minimum for the site, but I'm too afraid to pay much more just yet), and submitted my photos (they use them to make sure that it's you, and that you actually weigh what you said you weighed, so as to keep the cheaters somewhat at bay). This should be interesting. I'm hoping that the fear of losing ten bucks is enough of a motivation to get my arse up off the couch and actually exercise. If it's not, well fuck, I just lost ten bucks. Here's hoping greed beats out laziness this time. Because I do not need to be losing ten bucks.